Parenting Strategies For Step Parents by James Gunaseelan
Step parenting is rarely easy and a new Stepparent has to show a lot of patience, tolerance and warmth. The first time you meet the children of your new partner may be awkward all around, so just be yourself. Be secure in the fact that your partner loves you and will stand by you. The death of a parent or parent’s Divorce is always hard on children, irrespective of their ages.
No parenting strategies for stepparents can prepare you entirely for the children’s reaction to a new person in their parent’s life, but losing your cool never helps. Let your warmth and interest in their activities be apparent and just be your natural, pleasant self. Parenting strategies for stepparents may differ, depending on whether the children live with you, whether their other parent is around, and how old the kids are. It also depends on whether you have your own biological children, and where they live.
Most of all, it depends on what you and your partner decide is best. There are no rules as to how involved you need to get with the children, but if they live with you naturally you may have the responsibility of supervising their daily routine. Accept that there is likely to be resentment and that children may see you as an intruder. Whatever parenting strategies for stepparents you use, try and make the transition as easy as possible for the children.
They are parts of lives shared with your partner before you came on the scene. You cannot be a part of that past, but you need not be someone they see as changing the way their life used to be. Be patient with them and pay attention to their needs. Your thoughtfulness will win them over in time.
Your stepchildren may welcome you or be hostile towards you, but ultimately living in the same house calls for some ground rules. You and your partner need to discuss the role you will play in the children’s lives, and then the entire family has to talk about his together. Parenting strategies for stepparents have to be based on openness and fair play. As adults, you and your partner have to guide the kids and be tolerant with them. This does not mean that they should not be disciplined, but they should not lose trust in their parents.
It is best if the disciplining is initially left to the biological parent. Your role in the family should also be clearly spelt out from the start. Once you have grown more familiar with the household you can ask the kids to help you with some chores. Do not tolerate rudeness, but do not lose your dignity in the process of admonishing them. One of the best parenting strategies for stepparents is to befriend the children on their terms. Try and spend time with them alone; slowly a relationship will grow between you. Let them also have time alone with your partner. Take time to make things easy for them to stay in touch with their other parent. They will realize that you respect all these relationships.
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About the Author
James Gunaseelan writes for Leading matrimonial portal for Brahmins brides and grooms
