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Making Your Children Comfortable In Two Homes

Posted on: 22-07-2008
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Category : Divorce

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Post Divorce Parenting Tips – Making Your Children Comfortable In Two Homes by Britney Smith

Divorce is often heart-wrenching for children. Parents try to overcompensate for the pain in different ways. The best arrangement would be when the children know they were welcome to live with either parent. This is not difficult to achieve if both the estranged spouses can come to a common understanding.Marriage Might Not Last Forever, But Parenting Is

One of the most important post divorce parenting tips is to internalize the fact that parenting is forever. The children too should know that they are loved by both parents equally and that they were not in any way forced to take sides. It is very important that the parents abstain from comparing or competing against each other as the children would catch on very soon and use this weakness as a weapon against both parents.

Your children will now have two homes. This is a fact and as such should be accepted by both estranged spouses. Your children need to feel at home in both places and for this you both need to take a few concerted steps. According to post divorce parenting tips the transition period for children can be smoothened out if they are made comfortable with living in two homes.

The first step in this direction is to ensure that the children have all the clothes they needed in both homes. The parent who moved away from the marital home should take the trouble to buy a new set of clothes for the child so when they come to live in the new home all they would need to carry with them would be their school bag and books.

You also need to see that they have their own place in the house – their own room would be great, but if that is not possible give them a place they could call their own where they could create their own space. Ensure that they have all that they are used to in both homes which would include their video games, computer, books, and so on.

Most post divorce parenting tips point against recreating a duplicate of their rooms in the marital home. Rather, you should ensure that it is a special place which they love and are free to use as they please.

If you want your child to settle emotionally soon, you need to set routines. This is one of the most ignored post divorce parenting tips because the majority of parents feel that routines add to the stress that the children feel during the divorce. Contrary to popular belief, routines actually help the children get through the trauma rather than add to it.

Lastly, the most invaluable of all post divorce parenting tips – remember to keep the dialogue open and light. Make an atmosphere where the children feel free to talk with you about whatever is on their minds, so you can help them cope with the transition.

About the Author

Britney Smith is an Internet Marketer that writes articles on various resources. She shares her thoughts on Woman and Men Relationship Problem invites you to her website to Discover The Magic of Making up which can solve your relationship

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Stepfamily Support

Posted on: 19-07-2008
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Category : Stepfamily Support

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Do all stepfamilies need support?  Is there support available in your area?

There certainly would me many stepfamilies who need support with their newly formed family, but unfortunately in most cases support is not readily available.  For example I only know of a handful of support groups in Australia for stepfamilies.

Maybe stepparents are turning to the internet to find online support.  One of the best sources of online support not just in Australia but internationally is the Stepfamily Forums found at the Stepfamily Zone.

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6 Tips to Handle Mother’s Day and Father’s Day after Divorce

Posted on: 19-07-2008
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Category : Stepfamily Tips

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Divorce Politics – 6 Tips to Handle Mother’s Day and Father’s Day after Divorce

Divorce and separation can mean that special family holidays, like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, can end up being stressful and full of conflict. When you’re separated or divorced, what kind of role does the ex-spouse play in helping the children show that for their other parent?

Here are a few tips to ensure you can enjoy these special holidays!

1. Make a Plan in Advance

It’s important to be prepared in advance of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Agreement on how to handle these days can be included as part of your parenting plan. If at all possible, it’s great when the children can spend at least some time with the parent who has the special day happening. Don’t leave who’s going to be where with whom until the last minute.

2. Be Prepared to Give and Take

Negotiating with a former spouse is never easy, but you can gain a lot of cooperation in the long-term by being willing to reciprocate. One good turn deserves another. If the children are scheduled to be with their Dad on Mother’s Day, ask if you can arrange a switch or at least a part of the day that the kids can be with Mom. Offer to reciprocate in kind when Father’s Day rolls around.

3. Keep The Children’s Best Interests in Mind

Keep your children’s best interests at the top of your priority list. Unfortunately there seem to be divorced parents out there who need reminding of this. If you have power struggles going on with your ex, use a divorce coach or other professional to work it out so you can keep your children out of the cross-fire. Put yourself in the shoes of your children and see what would serve them best in this situation.

4. Support Your Children To Celebrate the Other Parent

Children sometimes need help and encouragement to express their appreciation for their parent, particularly when they are young. Even though you may not feel like sending off a Happy Mother’s Day card yourself, your children will. Remind them that a special day is coming up and see what they need. Perhaps you can take them to the drug store to get a gift, or ensure they have supplies so they can make their own card.

5. Creating Special Moments

Ultimately Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are not about the gifts. It’s about creating and sharing special moments with Mom or Dad. Teach your children it isn’t necessary to “buy” a gift. Simple events like a board game, walk in the park, or preparing Mom or Dad breakfast in bed can be far more meaningful to both the parent and the child.

6. New Partners in the Picture

When Mom or Dad has someone new in the picture, should the children celebrate them too? It depends on the nature of the relationship. Follow your children’s lead in this department. If they want to include the new step-mom or step-dad, that’s great! If it feels awkward or disloyal to them, don’t force it upon them just because it might make you feel better.

To learn more simple and life-changing strategies and tips on parenting and divorce, I’d like to invite you to get a free chapter of “Parenting after Divorce 101: Success Strategies for Single Parenting.” This multi-media ebook includes audio and video clips too! Just visit http://www.parentingafterdivorce101.com and you can have the free chapter in your email inbox in minutes.

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