by Michelle Brunetti

There is no such thing as too much love. And, nowadays, step families, or “blended families” are more common than even the beloved Brady Bunch was in 1969. According to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau’s report,Living Arrangements of Children: 2004, 11 percent of children (5.7 million) under the age of 18 live with one biological or adoptive parent and one stepparent.

Despite these growing statistics, sometimes I cannot help but wonder if my son will feel “different” in our blended family situation. But, the more I learn about it and the more our family unifies, I realized that our “non-bio family” is more of a blessing than I would have ever known. Certainly, every family is different and there is no way to consider every possible scenario but, overall, blended families can fulfill the same basic needs as a traditional family. And, after divorce, a blended family can provide safety, comfort, encouragement, and a sense of belonging, even more so than a single parent. However, it is vital that members of a blended family recognize their special dynamic in order to maintain expectations and adjust to their evolving household.

According to Peter Gerlach, a board member for the Retired Step family Association of America, the biggest failure step families make is to fall for common step family myths, such as:

* “What I’ve learned in my first-marriage family should work well enough in my new family. Experience counts! We’re not really that different!”

* “I should (i.e. must) love my step-children, and treat them just like my own.”

* “If I disagree with my stepchild or their other bio parent, my mate will usually support me without great guilt or anxiety.”

* “As a bio parent, I shouldn’t have to choose between my new mate and my children!”

* “My mate’s absent minor or grown kids will never come to live with us permanently.”

* “If I’m consistently honest, sincere, and warm, my step-children will surely come to like (or love) and respect me.”

* “Your and my kids could never come between us!”

Have you made some (or all) of these assumptions? Try not to be too hard on yourself. Merging two families into one is not an easy feat, and doing your best to learn along the way is the key to a healthy family environment. Although the challenges of raising a blended family can be great, so can the reward. The story I heard of a child feeling sorry for another child because they have eight grandparents when the other child only has four gives me hope that an acceptance of the step family as a family unit is on the rise.

When you are feeling frustrated or doubting that you are making the right decisions, remind yourself that even “bio families” encounter bumps, pitfalls, and challenges in raising a family, so do not dismay. Instead of worrying whether or not your modern day family is sticking out like a sore thumb, focus on embracing the love that your expanded family can bring you. After all, you are not alone!

How have you helped your children cope in your new family?

Michelle Brunetti from www.TheCuteKid.com, the most respected baby contest online with 1.7 million members and growing fast. TheCuteKid photo contest is judged by model and talent scouts and awards over $100,000 in prizes annually – Do You Have a CuteKid?

Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/Step-Families-Today—The-Brady-Bunch-and-Beyond/591904

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