Oooooh, it’s that time of year again where many stepmoms are looking inward to figure out their place in the home. For some, this day can be a day where they are pampered with gifts and with love. While other stepmoms feel rejected and doubt themselves in their role in the family.
For those stepmoms who are blessed with cards, flowers, and gifts given by their stepchildren, I give you some serious kudos! You have to be doing something right so keep on keepin on. 🙂
For those stepmoms who feel like they are unappreciated and devastated, I will give you the same advice. Keep on keepin on! You have to stick with it and know that your efforts are not going unnoticed. Yes, they might be now, but one day if you keep showing affection and dedication to your stepchildren, one day they will thank you. I know that it is hard to believe, but they will.
Relationships especially those in blended families take a long time to build. They require love, patience, trust, and dedication. Even when you have all of those amazing qualities it doesn’t mean that it will happen overnight. Additionally, you will never be able to take the place of the biological mother, and rightfully so.
Allow your relationships with your stepchildren to be built on a strong foundation.carrie ellis-berg
One of my sons came to me the other day after shopping for his stepmom’s mother’s day card and gift. He explained that while the gift was easy, the card made him feel awkward. All of the cards were like, “To my mom, you’ve always been the best mom, you are always there for me…” On a serious note, the card making business should really put out more stepmom cards like “Thanks for washing my clothes, and doing the dishes, and running me places…” Words that have a little bit less emotion in them so that a child would feel more comfortable giving it to their stepparent.
My son asked me if he was right for feeling that way. Of course, he was! He has me duh!! But seriously, he has a great stepmom, but one that could never take my place. I let him in on my feelings too that I feel awkward when it comes to Mother’s Day with my stepchildren. I know in the back of their little heads I am not their mom, but more of an extra set of hands that loves them so.
So here’s my advice, have a Stepmom Day on a different date. Just you and the kids could go for a walk at the park, go to the zoo, or even see a movie. You could even do a gardening project with them. Make it a day to just bond with your stepchildren.
Remember you don’t build a house by starting on the roof. Allow your relationships with your stepchildren to be built on a strong foundation.